I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
