the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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