; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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