i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
you never un-have a 4some
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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