He asked to "fluff my boner.."
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
