the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
