are you still at the devil's house?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Randomize
