i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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