The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
