you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
