Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize