I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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