All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
