you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Terrible idea I love it
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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