I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
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