even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
