you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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