just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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