i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
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Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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