We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
