new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
