Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Even my vagina gasped.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
