My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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