how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
