aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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