I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my sisters under your porch take her home
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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