Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
