i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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