how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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