If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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