Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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