I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
