im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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