he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
