i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Why is your signature on my underwear?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
