So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
