But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
