i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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