Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Someone signed my nipple.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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