Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize