last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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