How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
