Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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