I want to make a zoo with you.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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