I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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