wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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