Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
