What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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