That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
