I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
