A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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