sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize