If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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