Me. At least after what I've been through.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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