my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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