from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
