in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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