This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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