oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
