you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
