brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
